Nyari kerjaa.... Part 2

This is part 2 of pergumulan cari kerja gw, if you haven't read the previous part click here :) 



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After weeks pass, ada company B yang nelpon gw buat interview tanggal 3 october. Gw bersorak-soraii hehehehhe... seneng banget rasanya ketika nomor yang muncul di handphone tuh unknown number gitu.. haahahahahhaa... But not only that, company B ini punya product yang selalu gw beli tiap bulan.. :P seneng donk kalo bisa kerja buat a place yang u like. Especially pas gw cerita ke temen2 gw sesama designer mereka tuh langsung "Wah, tempat itu mah Style lu banget eunn!!!" :P happy donk gw!!! hihihihi.. Now I've learned my lesson tho, to be humble, jgn karena gw sdh dipanggil interview trus gw sombong2 aje ke sekeliling gw, diterima aja belum tentu.. hahahaha.

Tanggal 3 oct (if you notice it's a month after my first interview with A) gw datang ke company B. Disana, pas datang dibuat nunggu lagi (ya sdh laahh..) ternyata yang apply buat jadi graphic designernya banyak bangeettt ada lebih dari 10 orang!! buset dah... trus di-brief bentar ma orang HRD dalam suatu ruangan (ditakut2in boo, "kerjaan kalian ini butuh komitmen yang keras, deadline yang tinggi, kalian pulangnya bisa sampe malem2, jadi kalo kalian merasa tidak bisa, setelah ini kalian bisa langsung pulang tidak apa2" eaa... -_____-) hahaha.. setelah di brief, ada psikotest selama 30 min trus abis itu ditest design selama 2 jam where I have to design a one spread article (bahan dikasih), cropping an image (bahan dikasih) dan one page article (terserah mau apa, bahan nyari di inet). Nah for those 2 hours I did all the design and prinsip gw sih to just give my best and biar Tuhan yang urus aja selanjutnya lah. hehehe... 2 jam kelar, dikasih extra 15 min trus kumpulin deh designnya.

abis itu nunggu.... sejam... trus dikasih tahu langsung sp yang lolos. yang ga lolos langsung boleh pulang. From those >10 orang, yang lolos cuman 4 orang bo! eaa.. (termasuk gw.. hehehe) tapi kali ini gw ga berbangga, as I saw the faces of people yang ga keterima, mereka tuh langsung keluar ruangan and pulang. I can see the disappointment and embarrassment in their face, I know that coz I've been there, and that it is sad, heartbroken and annoying at the same time. Moving on, selanjutnya tuh wawancara ma HRDnya. cuman bentar doank trus dibilang tar kami hubungin lagi yah kira2 besok ato lusa kamu datang lagi untuk wawancara ma user nya.

Balik kosan, cek email sebelum ketemu temen gw, eaaa.. ada panggilan laen dari other agency! Ihiy!! At the moment gw bener2 seneng karena rasanya God lagi menghibur gw setelah berminggu2 of no calls.. hehehehe, these calls of interview (bukan diterima loh baru diwawancara doank) itu dah buat gw happy to the point gw smile2 all day. hahahhaha... Biasanya tuh orang senyum2 karena abis ditelpon pacar ato gebetan gitu, gw gara2 ditelpon perusahaan.. myahahahhaa.. ntah lah ini namanya apa.. -____-"

Gw telpon agency C untuk reschedule jadwal interview supaya ga bentrok ma jadwal interview ke2 dari company B :). In the end, pas tanggal 5 oct, pagi2 gw wawancara ma agency C then siangnya gw wawancara ma company B deh. Wawancara ma agency C, gw ampir telat datang interview karena ga tau letaknya dimana --' setelah jalan kaki seharian nyari2 tempatnya untungny pas ketemu masih on time *huff*. Wawancara, (again if u ask me, I think it went well) then dia bilang hrs ngomong sm bos dulu then later baru hubungin gw lagi. So I went home by busway in which di busway ketemu temen kuliah gw yang mau pergi wawancara jg.. hehehehhe. Moving on, balik rumah mandi (jalan kaki seharian badan gw jadi lepek booo!!), then took a cab to company B. Wawancara sama user (also menurut gw sih, I think it went well) then abis wawancara disuruh tunggu. So I wait.... 30 min later, gw dikasih tau kalo gw ga lolos --'. Gw keluar dari kantornya with a smile :), kepala tegak, bahu tegak, kaki melangkah dengan pasti, ngambil taksi dan pulang. Di taxi, I told my parents and friends what happened and pray to God a while (thank You for the opportunity blablablbla). Sampe kosan, awalny masih santai2 aja, malemnya gw nangis :(

It was a tiring day for me, I walk dari kosan gw yang deket ma senayan city, jalan kaki ke halte busway permata hijau (gw kirain deket! ternyata jauhnya setengah mampusss!) turun di halte kelapa dua only to walk sampe ke halte kebun jeruk baru deh dapet agency C, wawancara, balik naik busway yang karena ga muncul2 arah ke senayan akhirnya gw ambil ke arah sebaliknya which means gw turun di harmoni dan naik ke arah senayan --' dari ratplaz, jalan kaki ke kosan, mandi then go walk a bit, took a cab to B wawancara, nunggu, ditolak, go home. I was tired, I haven't had my lunch due to the tightness of my schedule and setelah ditolak even tho I then eat a bit, tp nafsu makan gw ga ada gitu.

That night gw nangis karena exhausted. not only physically but also emotionally. Ditolak sekali, oke, Dua kali, it starts to make me think bad about myself :( . I try to make myself think positively that masih ada agency C and mereka juga good and ini mungkin adalah jalan Tuhan untuk nyatain bahwa B is not for me. However, as much as my brain try to tell me that, my heart and my mental was just too tired I guess that gw nangis berjam2. Kecapean nangis baru gw berdoa bener2, (soalny pas nangis mw doa tapi jadinya menjerit2 sm Tuhan.. hehehe) dalam doa ini gw kasih tau everything I feel, everything I know and that I ask God untuk give me strength to follow His will, His path.

the next week gw bodo amat sama kerjaan dulu, hehe, since I was helping retreat kampus, jadi gw fokus kesana dulu. :) Pulang retreat, walau senang bisa ketemu orang-orang baru, gw merasa kosong :(

rasanya pergumulan gw sdh terlalu banyak consume me that gw kecapean spiritually as well. blum lagi pas retreat kan gw mimpin kelompok kecil, worship leader jg. pulang bener2 rasanya drained spiritually --'.

minggu2 selanjutnya as I waited for the call from agency C, gw sambil apply2 lagi to other agency. The Hope that I have tuh makin mengecil dan mengecil. Iman gw makin menciut. Yang tadinya gw sangat semangat, gw makin males, lemes.. --' the hope that i have tuh sangat2 kecil jadi lebih kecil dari biji sesawi (bahasanyaa.... hahaha) still there but very tiny *sigh* hari-hari yang gw jalani sempat sampai there's a day gw menjerit sm Tuhan, I said that, Tuhan gw capek banget, proses pergumulan ini sakiiit banget Tuhan, aku ngerasa jadi kayak bola pingpong Tuhan, dioper2, ditepok2 kesana sini tp ga diterima, ga masuk T___T. Tuhan mau aku menunggu, diam sampai kapan? berharap sampai kapan? I know You are telling me to keep having faith and I AM, But I can not hold it any longer. I am tired, I am exhausted, I am Desperate! (honestly!). I can think straight dear God, gw ragu akan diri gw, I start to think that I suck in everything: in designing to the point I wonder did I chose the wrong major?, in character since i failed at interviews jadi kayaknya there's something wrong with my personality. Is it true God? Is there something wrong with me? if so, please repair me.. T__T, apakah gw selama ini terlalu berbangga terhadap design gw? yang gw pikir bagus tapi ternyata gak? gimana Tuhan? Why are You being quiet???? why are You not aswering me? T____T why do I feel as if You are leaving me? T___T. (writing this, gw jadi mau nangis rasanya mengingat saat2 galau gw ini)

Don't get me wrong, during those time, hubungan gw sm Tuhan is good, saat teduh gw lancar, hubungan doa gw lancar, gw baca buku2 rohani pun lancar. So, personally from my side, I feel like what did I do wrong sampai2 gw merasa Tuhan sedang jauh? gw minta ampun atas dosa apapun yang gw lakukan either gw sadar ato yang ga gw sadar. Gw minta Tuhan untuk buat gw liat akan what I did wrong. But He didn't say anything. Gw share sm temen2 gw, kakak rohani gw, bonyok gw, jawaban mereka semua diem2 aje kebanyakan and "sabar" nike.. *sigh*

kira2 pertengahan bulan october gw dapet interview call lagi. agency D namanya, it's a small agency, and gw dikenalin sm temen gw. As i see their website, gw pikir lumayan lah, gw cobain aja untuk interview dulu. So tanggal 19 gw interview di kantor mereka pagi2. baru datang bau rokok sudah disana-sini. --' At this point, gw pasrah sih. Ikut aja prosesnya mau gimana, give my best while still being myself. Pagi gw interview, sore gw disuruh balik lagi kesana. gw balik, interview sm ownernya trus lsg nego gaji deh. :) honestly, I was happy ^^ (finally i wasn't as suck as I thought I am) hahahaha..

pas itu gw tanya, kok kantornya bau rokok gini yah? everybody smoke yah? orangnya bilang iyah, tp gw bisa kerja dimana aja, ada yg ga ngerokok. oh ya sdh. So I said, gw mw pikir2 dulu, tar hari senin gw putusin and if yess, selasa gw masuk...

So, ...... (*bersambung* ^^)

Click Here to part 3 :)