Letter to My Freshgrad Sis
My Sis,
Welcome to the graduate club!! This is what I said to every friend or acquaintances who just celebrated their graduation. Congratulations for finishing those years of education phase in your life, now as you are entering the 'adult' life, I feel like as a big sister, I need to give you some words of cautions.
Be not afraid tho, this is not me bickering you (like always duh! hehe), or scaring you. This is more what you can prepare yourself into. How you can learn from my mistakes, and try to establish yourself in this world.
Despite our differences, me being unromantic and you being hopeless one, Me being a very rational thinker while you learn by doing and follow your heart. If anything I cherish our differences. Our parents (thank God for them!) has always acknowledged our uniqueness. You being an extreme extrovert, always manage to make friends wherever and whenever you are. For me, this has been your number one strength, cherish that, use that! I've envied this particular skill of yours ever since hahha. Especially since it's not easy for me to make tons of friends and even when I do, it's EXHAUSTING! T__T
Now, where was I? okay, entering the working world. Even though I'm only 2.5 years older than you, with more than 4 years of work experience ahead of you, I hope you can learn from these few words of advice I'm about to say.
1. Humble Attitude
I know in the 4 years of uni life, you've been a leader, famous amongst your friend, gain respect from even your fellow lecturers and other adults. HOWEVER, once you enter the working market, you're a nobody... yet. This is a new environment, you have no real experience in the industry yet (internship doesn't count!). Lose that ego, humble yourself, have the heart to listen, to learn. Swallow that pride! Listen, listen and listen first before you start talking. The fact is, you need them because you are a newbie. And as much things you feel like you've learnt, those are very theoretical, very very basic. These people, your new employer, your new boss, are the one who hold the leverage. If you come with high head - that won't make them like you. Starts with being humble, accept that you don't know anything (even when you think you do). Even if you know you are good, they don't know it yet! You have to work, to earn their trust, to make them like you. These people you're working for, chances are they've been in the industry more than 5 years. Some perhaps even 10 or 20 years. I hate to say this but.. they know better than you (most of the time).
2. Don't be naive!
3. Built your own brand
2. Don't be naive!
I know in university, you're taught to be very idealistic. You are presented by ideas of having the world under your hand. They have taught you to believe that you can. To dream high, big! Now, that's good! Do dream high! Do dream big! BUT, know that everything has its time.
I saw a lot of friends after they graduate, they wanted a job which allows them to 1. Do what they love(want) to do, 2. Get hugeeeeeeee salary and, 3. Have good work environment (good work friends, no stress, great boss, etc.). Now, as a fresh grad, to have all of these are impossible! (Sorry to break it to you). You want those double digit millions rupiah salary? chances are, you'll be working in a place where it's stressful and full of office politics. You want to work what you love? chances are, you won't be having lots of money. You want to work with people who has lots of connections? chances are, perhaps you won't be learning a lot. Point is, you can't have it all together. Especially as a fresh graduates. Everything takes time, it takes hard work, persistence, endurance, and definitely patience.
I saw a lot of friends after they graduate, they wanted a job which allows them to 1. Do what they love(want) to do, 2. Get hugeeeeeeee salary and, 3. Have good work environment (good work friends, no stress, great boss, etc.). Now, as a fresh grad, to have all of these are impossible! (Sorry to break it to you). You want those double digit millions rupiah salary? chances are, you'll be working in a place where it's stressful and full of office politics. You want to work what you love? chances are, you won't be having lots of money. You want to work with people who has lots of connections? chances are, perhaps you won't be learning a lot. Point is, you can't have it all together. Especially as a fresh graduates. Everything takes time, it takes hard work, persistence, endurance, and definitely patience.
So, what should you do? well, choose what are the things you wanted to start you career? Do you want networkings? or money? or just a nice place where you got to do what you love? Either way, once you make the choice, OWN it! Bear the consequences of your choice and start walking from there. For my first job, I chose networking opportunity and doing what I love. The consequence of my choice was small salary, lower than any other field of design job. But I owned it. When people asked where I work, I told them with full excitement and pride of what I do. Lots of friends of mine, got envy because I really love my job, while they don't. (even after their huge salary, people really can't be grateful --') And after 2 years, I got a new job with double offer compare to my previous salary. See, there is time for everything. :)
(Also, read this as well before you sign that work contract)
3. Built your own brand
Everybody is unique and different. What makes you different than others? I'm pretty sure you know the answer to this question. If so, then now think, how would you like people to know you? Do you want to be know for your integrity? or do you want to be known for being manipulative? All choices are in your hands dear. Think wisely and carefully. When I worked at my first job, the turn-over rate was so high that almost every month, someone resigned. Indeed, my boss at the time was a difficult person to deal with. However! I stayed, for two years I endured under her regime. Why didn't I just quit like others? Every friend of mine said that I was wasting my time and energy working there. Moreover, my boss hated me! Why did I stay...? Because I know I'm not a quitter. I'm not quitting and letting her smile over me, that would mean that I lost! (HELL NO!) So, I stayed, I worked my ass up, I put a lot more effort than others. And when I quit, I quit with my head held high. I quit with having my boss Personal Recommendation Letter (she loves me). I leave in good relationship with them. Why? Because this is my brand, this is who I am, I ain't no quitter! I'm a hard worker!! *Proud*
4. Control your emotion.
4. Control your emotion.
Sometimes during your work, you'll face hard time. Sometimes it'll require you to cry in the taxi while having nosebleed at 11 PM after working overtime looking like someone who just got dumped. Sometimes, your coworkers stab you in the back. Sometimes, you'll get so angry at your boss that you want to shoot them. Now, all these means that... you're human! It is normal! It's good even, compared to being emotionally numb. These are the hardship of life, you'll face drama, you'll face injustice, unfairness, etc. I want you to know, when you face this and you cry or you get mad, it is okay. It is life. HOWEVER, don't ever, EVER! Let them see you crying or losing out of control. Especially in public. When you feel like losing your mind, count to 10! Take a breath, and when you feel like you can't control it anymore, run to the toilet or somewhere. Don't let them see you losing control. Manage your emotion, I'm not saying that you should block it or deny it. There are time and place to cry and be mad, and those time are certainly not in front of your supervisors. Why do I say this? Do I not want your superior to understand your humanity?
If you want to confide and tell your superior that you're facing hardship, it's one thing. But crying won't help, it'll make you look weak, unprofessional and even pitiful. And trust me, you don't want their pity. You want their respect, and crying won't do it.
If you are at the bottom of the corporate ladder, and you're mad at your boss, releasing your anger upon them is NEVER a good thing (you'll get fired and it'll taint your reputation). So, once again, if you want to be mad or cry, suck it up first! and then, release those postponed emotion at a safe environment. You shall be the master of your own feeling! Not the other way around.
5. Make friends, not enemy.
If you want to confide and tell your superior that you're facing hardship, it's one thing. But crying won't help, it'll make you look weak, unprofessional and even pitiful. And trust me, you don't want their pity. You want their respect, and crying won't do it.
If you are at the bottom of the corporate ladder, and you're mad at your boss, releasing your anger upon them is NEVER a good thing (you'll get fired and it'll taint your reputation). So, once again, if you want to be mad or cry, suck it up first! and then, release those postponed emotion at a safe environment. You shall be the master of your own feeling! Not the other way around.
5. Make friends, not enemy.
This includes, your boss! Now, you won't be able to the people you work with! You might get used to choosing your team mate for group project at univ, but at work? You don't get a choice. Well, you do actually, Stay.. or.. Quit. That's it hehehe. But regardless of your circumstances, whomever you meet, ALWAYS try to be on their good side. If you end up working at a company, and you don't like it, then you want to resign, it's okay. But do it in good manner!
Don't slam all your files or papers in front of you bosses and Human Resource (HR), then burn it in front of them! (Please don't do this!). Also don't mock at their face, spit on them, or swear while pointing at them! (Really, don't do this to anyone!). No matter how much you hate them. Always, always, end it in good terms. Don't think that when you resign, then everything will be over. NOPE, truth is, you never know, when you'll meet them again. The world is small. And if those people you pissed are influential, powerful people...... Hahha... you're doomed my dear. That bright future of yours might be withheld due to some unresolved issue in the past with specific someone. You don't want this, trust me.
6. Be smart with your money
7. Pick your friends wisely
9. Be the Salt and the Light
6. Be smart with your money
Either you choose to work at company which offer you little or lots of money, as you keep working, your money will grow. Your salary will increase. Of course this will depends on your work performance, but in Indonesia, at least 10% salary increase is usually given each year. Anyhow, as you will get more and more money. Be smart. Don't spend it all together! Save it, hell, if you've got enough to invest it in insurance or unit link, or even bonds, then DO IT! Divide your money into spending, tithes, saving and investment.
Don't buy things you can't afford! Don't be one of those millenials who spend their money in buying expensive mocha frappucino au latté, newest 500k dress from ZARA, while their salary is only 1/10 of Gucci bag. They think, they can still depend on their parents... Nope, when you start working, know that you now has to start making your own life in this world. You're an adult, don't follow their stupidity or their vain extravagant lifestyle. No matter how exiting, those are just a façade.
It doesn't mean that you shall not spend your money to have fun. Hell no! One of the liberty of having your own money is that you get to spend it! But do it wisely. Manage your income well. You know.. now you gotta do your taxes dear! Those people doesn't even know how to do their taxes, trust me! What is taxes you ask? time to start googling!
Don't buy things you can't afford! Don't be one of those millenials who spend their money in buying expensive mocha frappucino au latté, newest 500k dress from ZARA, while their salary is only 1/10 of Gucci bag. They think, they can still depend on their parents... Nope, when you start working, know that you now has to start making your own life in this world. You're an adult, don't follow their stupidity or their vain extravagant lifestyle. No matter how exiting, those are just a façade.
It doesn't mean that you shall not spend your money to have fun. Hell no! One of the liberty of having your own money is that you get to spend it! But do it wisely. Manage your income well. You know.. now you gotta do your taxes dear! Those people doesn't even know how to do their taxes, trust me! What is taxes you ask? time to start googling!
7. Pick your friends wisely
When you work, the people you meet at work is going to be different from your uni friend. Now, although you can get best friends from work, I assure you, be careful. There are people who just want to use you, backstab you, or even give bad influence upon you. Either way, choose carefully. Don't give others blind trust at first time you meet them. Get to know your environment, your peeps, then you'll see which you can trust, and only then you can start to trust them more. These people if correct will have your back, will encourage you, will work with you with the same passion and enthusiasm. These are the people you want to invest your time in. I'm not saying you should then not talk to others, differentiate those people whom are just 'co-workers' and those who are 'trusted friends'.
8. You'll always learn something new
Do not be afraid to make wrong choice. Don't be afraid of making mistakes. You'll be surprised of what you can learn afterwards. Wherever you are, open your mind and attitude to learn. This way, you'll be able to learn things you never imagine. Be proactive! Be open!
In my first internship, I learn A LOT of design skill. Those 5 months are like the graphic design course I never had when learning in university. Although I learned typography, but only in this time, I understood the importance of its application. Then in my 6 months of being unemployed, I learned humility. I also learned how much true friendship means as their prayers and support continuously strengthen me. From my volunteer work at Pearl, I learned how to manage an online media which starts from the bottom, lead a team consists of people living around the world.
In my first job, I learned skills of working in the magazine. However, after 2 years of working there, I had gained understanding that could never be learnt. These soft skills: how to talk to people, how to read people's mind (yupp, you heard it!), how to kiss ass, patience, and emotional maturity are all the things I am equipped with after 2 years.
In my second job, I learned much much moreeee new skills. The things that I wasn't able to learn before, I got all the opportunity to explore. Here I learned how to deal with people on more professional level externally. How to conduct business meeting (trust me, I was afraid!). And everything about e-commerce.
All together combined, those skills have prepared me for anything. Since I use to deal with difficult people, I know how to turn them into my advantage (sounds manipulative but yeah..). The strong mentality has helped me endured the new working environment with positive perspective. And here I am in Germany, equipped with those skills, it certainly does not come to waste. :)
9. Be the Salt and the Light
Last but not the least, this is the most important advice I could ever give.
In the workplace, you'll meet tons of cases. Sometimes, the ethics are questionable even. That's why, it is important to make people know who you are, what you're moral stands are, where your integrity is. As a Christian, you are put into the field of wolves, sometimes wolves in the form of sheep. You have to let them see who you are. By your action, your attitude, your endurance, your perspective, you must set-apart from this world. Being the light is sure ain't easy.
When everyone in your office are lazy to work because they think they're underpaid, don't follow that. You have higher obligation, which is to God! Remember Col 3:23 - in everything you do - do it for the glory of God. Give your best, because you are working for God.
Your earthly boss might be a douche, and hence people can't respect the boss. But you, respect your authority! (Romans 13:1) - For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. Your boss must have done something right to the point he got into that position.
And most importantly, treat others with kindness and respect. (Ephesians 4:32, ESV Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.) When someone at your office hurts you, whether he or she is your boss, or your co-workers or anyone, forgive them. Show them that 'love' that you have experienced through Jesus. Show them that you don't hold grudges. If they still can't understand it, well, no need to care. You've done your part anyway. If there's injustice happened to you, you've been treated unfairly and you can't do anything about it. Romans 12:19 says that revenge is not yours to do, but God's. (paraphrased).
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At last, this world you're entering can be cruel, tiring, frustrating and exhausting. Our parents and I won't be able to help you. This is your battle not ours, and we certainly should not do it for you. Be wise! Be smart! And always always cling to God. He shall be your personal career consultant. He is your strength! Obey Him (as hard as it is)! When God tells you to stay, stay. Throughout my 4 years of working, God has used this time, opportunity to shape me, mold me. The first two years of staying despite others saying no is one of the choice I took because God says so. And when He said: move!, I moved to a place He provided without me looking hard. The sister you know back in 2012 versus now is a different human being. A better person actually. Though it is painful, I cried a lot.. more than ever (believe me!). But it is beautiful. I got to walk another journey of faith and experience God. He is the potter, you are the clay, and a new phase in your life is just starting. The world can give you millions of advices, ways, and allure. But only His ways are the best. Trust Him for He never disappoints you. Once again, Happy graduation sis! Sorry I can't be there hehehe..
Von Deutschland mit Liebe,
Your Sis
In the workplace, you'll meet tons of cases. Sometimes, the ethics are questionable even. That's why, it is important to make people know who you are, what you're moral stands are, where your integrity is. As a Christian, you are put into the field of wolves, sometimes wolves in the form of sheep. You have to let them see who you are. By your action, your attitude, your endurance, your perspective, you must set-apart from this world. Being the light is sure ain't easy.
When everyone in your office are lazy to work because they think they're underpaid, don't follow that. You have higher obligation, which is to God! Remember Col 3:23 - in everything you do - do it for the glory of God. Give your best, because you are working for God.
Your earthly boss might be a douche, and hence people can't respect the boss. But you, respect your authority! (Romans 13:1) - For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. Your boss must have done something right to the point he got into that position.
And most importantly, treat others with kindness and respect. (Ephesians 4:32, ESV Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.) When someone at your office hurts you, whether he or she is your boss, or your co-workers or anyone, forgive them. Show them that 'love' that you have experienced through Jesus. Show them that you don't hold grudges. If they still can't understand it, well, no need to care. You've done your part anyway. If there's injustice happened to you, you've been treated unfairly and you can't do anything about it. Romans 12:19 says that revenge is not yours to do, but God's. (paraphrased).
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At last, this world you're entering can be cruel, tiring, frustrating and exhausting. Our parents and I won't be able to help you. This is your battle not ours, and we certainly should not do it for you. Be wise! Be smart! And always always cling to God. He shall be your personal career consultant. He is your strength! Obey Him (as hard as it is)! When God tells you to stay, stay. Throughout my 4 years of working, God has used this time, opportunity to shape me, mold me. The first two years of staying despite others saying no is one of the choice I took because God says so. And when He said: move!, I moved to a place He provided without me looking hard. The sister you know back in 2012 versus now is a different human being. A better person actually. Though it is painful, I cried a lot.. more than ever (believe me!). But it is beautiful. I got to walk another journey of faith and experience God. He is the potter, you are the clay, and a new phase in your life is just starting. The world can give you millions of advices, ways, and allure. But only His ways are the best. Trust Him for He never disappoints you. Once again, Happy graduation sis! Sorry I can't be there hehehe..
Von Deutschland mit Liebe,
Your Sis
